"Cuz I Know That Time Has Numbered My Days"

Title: Mumford & Sons - Babel

My Weekend in Numbers

3

The number of pumpkin related items I ate at the pumpkin fest on Saturday.  3. ONLY 3! At an entire festival, I saw less than 10 pumpkin food options.  How is that even possible!? I'm still upset.  But the pumpkin funnel cake, pumpkin whoopie pie, and pumpkin bread helped.

2

 The number of pounds I've lost since last Monday.  

1

The number of albums I've had on repeat (since the beginning of last week). 

Mumford & Sons.

6

 The number of loads of laundry I washed and put away yesterday.

7

 The number of Fringe episodes I watched over the weekend.  That show has sucked me in & I'm only on the second season! 

153

  (Approximately) The number of tears I cried last night as Vito read 3 chapters of The Fault In Our Stars out loud.  We are getting close to the end. SOB.

1

 The number of times I cooked over the weekend.  Chili. Mmmmm.

54 

The High temperature yesterday.

17

  (Approximately)  The number of times I wished it were Summer yesterday.

1

 The number of books I finished over the weekend.  Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.  Such a powerful book.

3

 The number of days over the weekend I wore Halloween-themed socks.

1

 The number of pictures I took over the weekend.

5

 The number of days I am counting down until the next weekend!

How was your weekend?

"Human Skin Can Be Hard To Live In"

Title: Seabear - "I Sing I Swim"

So it's been 6 weeks since I wrote about changing my life style to become more healthy and to work on loving myself more. Since it's been so long, I thought I should update y'all.

It's been a long road already, which I expected.

Gym

I've been going twice a week.

I only missed 1 week.

50 minutes of cardio and just last week I've started to add in (slowly!) weights.

This week I have even worked out at home so that makes 3 nights this week.

Next week I'm going to start walking with a girl friend 2-3 times a week on top of going to the gym. I'm most excited about this. I've always heard it is fun to exercise with others. A is the girl part of Vito & I's anniversary twins. She is getting married in 303 days (uhm hi, same day as Vito & I's graduation!) so she suggested we get to walking!

Weight Loss

I wish I could tell you I know how much I've lost but I can't.

I had a scare this week. I haven't been weighing myself at all. When trying to lose weight before, I'd weight myself every day and become obsessed with the number on the scale which is such a bad and incorrect way of judging my progress. I've avoided it until this week when I decided to weigh myself on Tuesday morning. Bad idea. I hit my highest weight ever. I was confused and angry and frustrated that I've been working out and gaining weight. Vito was convinced it was water weight but I knew it couldn't be. Wednesday morning I weighed myself again, up 4 lbs from the day before. I broke down. Like seriously. I knew this couldn't be right. After pulling myself together I decided to move the scale 3 feet and try again. Magically, I went down 13 lbs. Now my scale is dead. Vito says it is for the better. I'm estimating I've lost about 5lbs. I'll take what I can get!

Calorie Tracking

I said I was going to do this from day one.

I just started on Tuesday (in response to the number on the scale incident). I'm using: http://www.livestrong.com/myplate/

It's the best. Everything is in there. I think their exercising calories are way off but I don't really pay any mind to them. I can track my food and exercise easily. I'm really struggling with this. I'm not sure how many of you have ever tracked calories but it is insane. Even if you are not currently trying to lose weight, track your calories, just for one day. Your eyes will be opened by all the things that go into your body and the ridiculous amount of calories that accompany the yummy foods out there. The past 2 days I've gone well over my allotted amount but I'm trying to work on it. Slowly.

Water

This part I've aced. At least during the work week. I guzzle down at least 2 liters of water during my 8 hours at work and more when I get home. Aside from 1 cup of milk with breakfast and a cup of coffee when I get to work, this is all I drink. I feel better with water, more hydrated!

So that's what's going on with me!

Tell me how your journey to healthy is going!

"If I Have To Love Myself, Tell Me How To Love Me, Whats There To Love About Myself?"

Title: Six Pence None The Richer - "I Can't Catch You"

Well hello there June, how in the world did you get here so fast?

So let's talk serious. About me. & please, whatever you do, don't pity me.

I'm unhappy with myself. I've been unhappy for a long time, mainly with my weight. I'm not talking the normal "I'm a girl & I think I'm fat" kinda thing.

I'm talking about looking in the mirror and never being happy with what I see.

I'm talking about changing my outfit 6 times before going to a party which results in my having a breakdown because nothing looks good.

This has turned into me skipping out on the party because I can't bring myself to leaving the house feeling like I do.

I make comments all the time that seem normal to me. "I'm fat." is the common one. Vito hates it. The other night he finally sat down and said things to me that I needed to hear.

That he loves me for who I am. That I'm beautiful inside and outside. That he doesn't think I'm fat. All the things boyfriends are suppose to say. But there was more.

He told me that he loved me more than anything but even that wasn't enough to make up for the love I needed to give myself. He told me I needed to love me. That if my weight was a problem for me and standing between me loving myself, it was time to do something about it.

He's nothing but right. I complain and hate and exude laziness, but it is only my fault and mine alone that I am not taking steps towards changing it.

Today I've decided it's a good day to start a healthier lifestyle. I've started tracking my calories again, reminding myself to keep chugging that water, and I am going to the gym after work. I'm not changing everything at once but I'm going to start incorporating small changes. & that starts today.

Will it be hard?

No doubt.

Will I fall down?

Often.

Will I get back up and keep going?

Yes.