"If I Have To Love Myself, Tell Me How To Love Me, Whats There To Love About Myself?"

Title: Six Pence None The Richer - "I Can't Catch You"

Well hello there June, how in the world did you get here so fast?

So let's talk serious. About me. & please, whatever you do, don't pity me.

I'm unhappy with myself. I've been unhappy for a long time, mainly with my weight. I'm not talking the normal "I'm a girl & I think I'm fat" kinda thing.

I'm talking about looking in the mirror and never being happy with what I see.

I'm talking about changing my outfit 6 times before going to a party which results in my having a breakdown because nothing looks good.

This has turned into me skipping out on the party because I can't bring myself to leaving the house feeling like I do.

I make comments all the time that seem normal to me. "I'm fat." is the common one. Vito hates it. The other night he finally sat down and said things to me that I needed to hear.

That he loves me for who I am. That I'm beautiful inside and outside. That he doesn't think I'm fat. All the things boyfriends are suppose to say. But there was more.

He told me that he loved me more than anything but even that wasn't enough to make up for the love I needed to give myself. He told me I needed to love me. That if my weight was a problem for me and standing between me loving myself, it was time to do something about it.

He's nothing but right. I complain and hate and exude laziness, but it is only my fault and mine alone that I am not taking steps towards changing it.

Today I've decided it's a good day to start a healthier lifestyle. I've started tracking my calories again, reminding myself to keep chugging that water, and I am going to the gym after work. I'm not changing everything at once but I'm going to start incorporating small changes. & that starts today.

Will it be hard?

No doubt.

Will I fall down?

Often.

Will I get back up and keep going?

Yes.

Under Construction

Please excuse the fact that my blog is presently a mess. I am in the process of renovating!

Happy Weekend!

Word-Filled Wednesday {5}

Because sometimes hugs speak louder than words.

"Go Shawty, It's Your Birthday, We Gonna Party Like It's Your Birthday!"

Last year I spent this day in Disneyland meeting Tink, riding rides, and being sung to by Australians.
This year on my mot favoritest day of the entire year I am conquering the nation's capital for my 23rd birthday!
Bring it on DC!

Happy Birthday to me!!!

Pet Peeves 101

Oh heeey blogger, long time no see!.. I mean write? Something like that...

I'm alive, I've survived finals. My GPA for the semester is currently at a 3.33 but I'm disputing one of my grades at the moment so it might rise. If only my professor would get back in contact with me...

Anywho, I've had a bit of an issue jumping back into blogging. I've just lack motivation I guess. But today I will put that to an end!

So let's talk pet peeves.

I have pet peeves. A LOT of pet peeves. More than I could write about in one day, but let's just start with a few for the sake of your sanity.

#1. People who chew loudly/with their mouths open.

This kills me. Literally. It makes me sick and nauseous and I've been known to call people out on it that I don't even know. The sounds just makes me die on the inside. Once I worked with fellow employee in which caused me to quit (that's another post entirely) and on my last day of work I flipped out on her. She was standing on the other end of the room and I could hear her chomping on her gum. I yelled at her to shut her mouth, that even my (at the time) 4 year old niece knew how to chew with her mouth closed. Needless to say, it was ugly. Real ugly.

#2. Finding out important information via facebook

Let me just say, I'm a facebook stalker. Own up, I know you all are too. What else is the stupid site good for besides stalking. Now that being said, I shouldn't have to find out big news via a social network from close friends. I expect it through others that I barely talk to. But breaking off engagements when I JUST saw them 2 days ago & had no idea?! Totally makes me sad... This isn't my only pet peeve with facebook, but more on that later.

#3. Cliffhangers in season finales

It's season finale time. You know what that means. My face is glued to the TV, especially since I do not have school interrupting. Everything going along fine, loose ends are being tied up, and with 1 minute left in the show they completely twist everything you've ever thought was going on in this show upside down and leave you hanging. Not just for a week, no that's not good enough. You now have to wait 4 MORE MONTHS for answers. This kills me EVERY TIME.

So tell me, what are some of your current pet peeves??

Word-Filled Wednesday {4}

MIA

I've been MIA from blogging and commenting because I pretty much feel like this woman right here:

I'm in my last week of the semester before finals begin and work has been busy.

Stress, break downs, and anxiety attacks have been plentiful.

I'll continue being MIA for the next 2 weeks but I will be back as soon as things have calmed down but you can still reach me via email (caramelphotos@gmail.com) or twitter!

xoxox