Happy Wednesday Lovies.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
This is where I should insert what happened over the past month.
General craziness from October.
So let's just pretend I've been here the whole time and pick up where I left off?
Another day of the Challenge!
It's a pretty heavy, depressing post.
It is my biggest fear ever.
It would most likely be diagnosed as a phobia.
In relation to me.
In relation to others.
This makes going to bars and riding public transportation hard for me.
It is not something I can handle.
Losing my loved ones.
I can't even handle thinking about losing the ones I love most.
It is an instant anxiety booster.
Ew. Just ew.
Clowns are SO creepy and I just.. ew!
Last time at a Halloween scary thing?
I'm pretty sure I left nail marks on one of my guy friend who was in front of my because one of the clowns followed me.
I walked out in tears.
Not being enough.
Not being enough.
Not being good enough.
Not being pretty enough.
Not being a good enough friend.
All of those self-doubting feelings.
I hate any and all bugs.
Want to bring out the screaming girl in me?
Put me near a bug.
I freak out.
They seem to be the worst.
Never losing weight.
I'm terrified that I'll be this weight forever.
That I will continue this self-hating attitude because of my weight.
I fear I'll never be happy with myself and that isn't okay with me.
I feel selfish having this fear.
With all the wonderful women I know who have struggled getting pregnant/are struggling to get pregnant.
& here I am praying I don't.
Being stuck in life.
I fear often that I'm stuck.
Same place I'm living at.
I have so many hopes and dreams and when I don't see visible progress, I fear this is the way it will always be.
I want to travel the world and have a job where I'm making a difference in people's life and live somewhere where it doesn't snow.
I fear the aspect of no change.
What do you fear?