/* */

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

"I just want to know today, know today, know today know that maybe I will be ok"

Title:  Ingrid Michaelson - "Be Ok"

Me? I'm a planner.  Not that I mind change so much.  With going to so many new and different schools in my life, I learned that change is essential.  And sometimes I can feel it in my soul if things get stagnant.  That I need change.  Something new.  Something to keep life exciting.

Things I don't handle well? Knowing change is coming but yet I don't know in what way.  I need to plan.  I'm a worrier.  If I don't know what to worry about, I can't start planning.  And if I can't start planning, my worrying can get out of control.  

That all being said, I'm dealing with big changes coming my way at the moment.  

Marrying my love in about 5 months.
Dealing with whatever is going on with my health.
Working on living a healthier lifestyle.
Moving over 600 miles from the only home I've ever know.

Talk about major changes right?
Talk about worrying.
And planning.
And worrying some more.
And more worrying.

You see, Vito missed math and decided he wanted to go back and pursue his education.  I support him whole heartedly. So the process began of taking the GREs, which he kicked ass, taking the subject test, which he did okay at, and applying to 18 different colleges.  

So began the waiting game.  Our lives were about to go through some major changes but we didn't know where or what that would mean.  Seeing as I stated before about needing to plan, you can already piece together how well that went.  Out of the 18 colleges, Vito was accepted to 6 of them but only 3 of them offered financial aid.  Those 3 were listed at my least favorite colleges on the list solely because they were so far away from home.  

I've lived here for 22 years.  My family and friends and work and church are all here.  The thought of moving far gives me anxiety.  So began listing the pros and cons.  There were lots of tears.  Lots of anger.  Even more prayers.  Eventually we came to a decision.  We will be heading down to Clemson SC this fall.

I won't pretend this is easy.  Or even a happy time for me yet.  I know in my heart this is what we need to do.  I support Vito with everything I have and I know this is what he needs.  But I am going to miss everyone and everything else in my life I will be leaving behind temporarily.  It's a 5 year program which feels like eternity on this side of things.  But I know once we are finished down there, it will feel like no time at all.

If y'all have some extra prayers, please send them our way.  I know there are good things coming our way, everything is just very overwhelming right now. 8)


Brittany @ Boots and Pearls said...

I legit have tears reading this. I guess because I relate so well. The moving. E anxiety attacks. Everything. I will say you will be spending so much time settling a year will go by before you know it. We're in our 5th year of moving currently and it just seems like yesterday that we packed up to move to the first town. Remember. The days are long. But the years are short. You'll be back home before you know it. Enjoy the new experiences and new places you'll get to see.

Heather said...

I'll be praying for you friend!!! But now that you'll be in the South...me, you, and Brittany have no excuse not to meet up sometime since we're within a state of two of each other!!!

Karm said...

Though I feel sad reading this, I cannot help but smile and be happy for you two. Who knows, you might totally love it at your new place... Is it closer to AZ? haha kidding.
But yay! Way to go to Vito!!

Karm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anna said...

This will be such a great adventure for you guys as you officially start your lives together! I know it will be super stressful but I also know you will probably love SC! Um, hello no more nasty winters!!! (jealous). Moving far away from home is scary but it forces you to grow so much. Congrats to Vito!

Nancy Face said...

Although this should be a great thing for Vito, I feel sad for all the changes you must go through. I am NOT a fan of big changes, and it sounds stressful and overwhelming.

On the happy side - my daughter really struggled with moving away from home, but even though she misses all our family very much, she is loving her new life out of state! She and her husband have come to rely on one another much more than they ever did before.

I hope that you will also have positive experiences together in this new adventure.