"Anger And Agony Are Better Than Misery"

Title: Three Days Grace - "Pain"

This quote pretty much sums up my life at the moment. I feel completely overwhelmed by everything I need to do and everything I want to do, which are hardly ever the same things. Surprisingly enough, my life has calmed down a lot more than it was before. I use to be a fool, working 40hrs a week on top of taking 6 classes at college, not to mention having a life because we know that is important. It sucked to say the least. I barely slept, I felt like I wasn't making enough time for the people who meant the most to me, I was getting sick often because I was running my body on the minimum, I was trying to lose weight, Vito was almost 1000 miles away, and I still made a 4.0. Am I bragging? Maybe a bit.

I struggle with finding sympathy for fellow students who complain because they have 5 classes to attend and it interferes with their party schedule. When I say struggle, I really mean I despise these people because I could only DREAM of focusing only one my class work. I am not blessed with having my education, car, insurance, etc. paid for. I am lucky enough to live at home so I do not worry about those expenses, but I have to work or I couldn't make it to class without my car.

In walks this semester with 6 classes, hard classes all related to my major (Psychology) or my minor (Criminal Justice). Talk about trying to do the doggy paddle just to keep my nose above water. It wasn't working. I started missing classes. Lots of classes. Sleeping was much more appealing and trying to get my body out of bed in the morning turned into one of the hardest things I had to do all day.

Vito called me yesterday and was in a bad mood because he had not "done anything enjoyable all day" because he spent his day going to class and doing homework. This statement pushed me over the edge. Hi, I have class every morning followed by work every day during the week. At what point did he think I "did anything enjoyable" between these 2 things? He didn't have an answer.

After struggling a lot, I decided it was best for me to drop 2 out of my 6 classes. This was hard, admitting I could not handle everything that I had taken on, like I had before. I dropped one of the classes because I missed one assignment when I was legit sick and the professor threw a big fit as if I missed half the semester, sending me emails every day to see if I dropped the class. She was very unfriendly about the situation. Her class had so much work attached to it, I decided I would attempt it a different semester when I could devote more time to it (i.e. when I'm not trying to start designing my own research study). My other class I could not connect with the professor's teaching style. 4 chapters, 200+ pages, and 3 lectures later, I felt like I learned nothing and was totally unprepared for an exam that included 6 full essay questions.

Honestly, this whole situation just sucks. I'm bummed about it but what can you do? I think I made the right decision based on keeping as much of my sanity as possible. I can't tell you how much I look forward to being out of school, end of story.

Oh Happy Friday.