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Monday, August 31, 2009

"This World Can Turn Me Down But I Won’t Turn Away & I Won’t Duck & Run, Cause I'm Not Built That Way"

Title: 3DD- "Duck & Run"

This has been the Monday I've least looked forward to for over 100 days now. This Monday is my last day of freedom, last day of no worrying. Tomorrow, reality sets back in and I'm back to school. Yuck. I don't think I've expressed my distaste for college. Honestly, I find half of it a waste of my time. Taking classes that have nothing to do with my major or reviewing things I've learned over and over since the beginning of High School (algebra anyone!?). I despise any teacher that requires attendance. Honestly, they are getting paid if I am there or not so I do not find it any of their concern. It drives me nuts. If I fail, it is my problem. My first semester in college I took an introductory course to English. It was stupid and I learned nothing in this class. True story: Someone raised their hand and asked "Do you always capitalize "I"?" Seriously?! I find it ridiculous that I paid to relearn something I learned in grade school. I missed 6 of these English classes. I aced every paper. Every. Frickin'. Paper. Guess what my final grade was? C. All because I missed all those classes. Not because I missed assignments during those periods, but because I wasn't there. Blah. Rant over.

Anywho, back to the current time. I'm not looking forward to going back. I'm taking 6 classes this semester on top of working. At least I am only working part time this semester. I'll miss the money, but I need to concentrate on school too.

I don't think I ever wrote about my major. It's Psychology, with a minor in Criminal Justice. I like it, getting inside people's brains is fun. ;)

My goal is to become a Victim Assistance Counselor. I did a mentoring program the summer after my sophomore year in H.S. and fell in love helping people out and being there for them. It was a eye-opening summer.

Biggest fear with this career path? That I won't be able to remove myself from their problems. I worry, about everything. I like to fix everything for everyone. I hate seeing people in pain and do what I can to shield them. I'm afraid I won't be able to separate my work from my home life. I'm scared I'll bring home everything with me. *Sigh*

Well, if I can't handle it, I plan on becoming a psychology professor. I originally wanted to be a teacher, until I did a mentoring program with my geometry teacher in H.S. I hate public speaking. I had people in that class that wouldn't listen to me because I was the same age/younger than them and I think it bruised their ego. It sucked and I hated that feeling. One of the kids told me to my face he'd never accept help from me. This same guy I liked 2 years earlier, who let me use his sweatshirt in class when I was cold, who passed me notes and told me he liked me, who found out later that day a girl in a higher grade liked him and went out with her, who wrote in my yearbook that year, "I smater then you in world cultures." Waste of my time, Check. Cute as all get out, Check. Seen him since H.S., negative and it's for the better.

I'm babbling about random past stories and I really just wanted to write how I didn't want to go back to school tomorrow. Haha, I obviously shouldn't let my mind wander.

I'm off to spend the last completely free evening with my niece, who will make me smile and make this sick feeling in my stomach disappear until she leaves. Then the anxiety will creep up and I won't sleep tonight. Anxiety issues rule!... not.



Alice said...

And here I am talking to my friend about how I want to go back to school. How I miss it so! :D Go figure!

Do you're thing honey...and when you are a psychologist give me a call and let me know what's wrong with me! ahaha!!

uhski said...

Oh Introductory English courses. I did the same thing and got 100% on every paper I ever wrote but we switched teachers half way and my first teacher didn't care about attendance, my second teacher did. I ALMOST ended up with a D!! I kissed some major ass to get my A.

I know how you feel about school though. That's why I'm in a specialty program now so I don't have to take courses that don't apply to my life/career. But I have the same fears that I might not be strong enough to work for a veterinarian and put horses down.

School sucks but we will survive! I'm right there with ya!