"Pray for me, patience wait for me"

Today, well it's a blah day. Ever have one of those days where you wake up and you just know? Just know that today would be better spent in bed with the covers pulled over your head? Or when you stop to get coffee and drive right past the window and have to back up while someone is yelling at you that you missed her? The first thing you hear at work instead of "good morning" is "we have a crisis"? Yeah, it's one of THOSE days... Last night was a bad night and it just didn't stop.

So hands down, my biggest flaw? Patience, or the lack there of. I lack the ability to be patient. I'm one of those people who hates traffic, hates lines, hates waiting for anything, embraces her road rage, tries to lose weight and when it doesn't fall off in ten pound increments in the first 2 weeks gives up. I need instant gratification. Not seeing instant results drives me nuts because I'm too impatient to stick to something. I'm the kid who tries things once and if I do not get it the first time around, gives up. Good trait? Absolutely not. I know I do it, I accept it and move on.

So here I am, 22 years old. Young? Old? You be the judge. I still live at home with my mom and Vito. I hate it. Hands down, hate it. I dream of decorating houses and painting walls and walking around my house, singing at the top of my lungs and no one is there. But that isn't reality. I still live with my mommy. *Sigh* With school, working full time is now not an option at my job. Not that working full time and going to school full time was ever fun or enjoyable, but it was something I could do so I did. Now that both Vito & I will be working part time and going to school full time we are stuck. Would I love to move out? In an instant. Now is the best flipping time to buy a house. Seriously. Will we move out? No... Does this bother me? More than you'll ever know.

Vito saves money. He worries there will be some sort of emergency and need a whole bunch of money. I like the idea of having a safety net but I think he worries too much and puts too much back. I'm impatient. I want to move out, I want to be engaged and have the wedding of my dreams. He wants to stay until we have real jobs (about 2 years away) and would marry me tomorrow at the court house if I said yes.

We got into a big disagreement last night over it again. I think he doesn't care how unhappy I am at home, he thinks I don't care what he says. It's ugly, and tiring, and monotonous. Could we move out? Maybe. Would we be living paycheck to paycheck? Yes. Would we enjoy ourselves? I have no idea.

Life sucks sometimes. These are the days where I wish I had more patience.